Fiancé forbids bride-to-be from spending more than $1000 on wedding dress, pays $7000 for a gaming PC: 'We've been trying to keep costs reasonable'

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  • A representation of a bride-to-be standing in a wedding dress shop, wearing a dress and veil
  • Am I wrong for being upset that my fiancé capped my wedding dress budget at $1,000 but spent $7,000 on a gaming PC?

    My fiancé (31M) and I (29F) are getting married next spring. We've been trying to keep wedding costs reasonable because we're paying for most of it ourselves. We sat down a few months ago and agreed we'd both be mindful of spending while saving for the wedding.
  • When I started dress shopping, I found one I absolutely loved. It was around $1,800. I know that's a lot of money, but it was within what I had personally saved and I wasn't asking him to pay for it.
  • When I showed him, he immediately said spending that much on a dress that I'd wear once was irresponsible. He said we needed to be practical and suggested I set a budget of around $1,000. We argued about it for a bit, but eventually I agreed because I didn't want to start a fight over a dress.
  • A few weeks later, he came home excited and showed me the new gaming setup he'd ordered. New PC, monitor, graphics card, desk upgrades, the whole thing.
  • A representation of a gaming PC emitting a blue light in a dark room
  • I asked how much everything cost and he initially avoided answering. After some pushing, he admitted it was around $7,000 total. I was honestly shocked.
  • I pointed out that he had spent weeks telling me that spending $1,800 on my wedding dress was wasteful, but apparently spending $7,000 on gaming equipment was perfectly reasonable.
  • His argument is that the PC is something he'll use every day for years, while a wedding dress is only worn once.
  • I said that completely misses the point because the issue isn't whether a computer lasts longer than a dress. The issue is that he was comfortable policing my spending while making a purchase seven times larger for himself.
  • Now he's annoyed because he thinks I'm comparing two completely different things and says I'm overreacting because the gaming setup came out of his personal savings. For context, the dress would have come out of my personal savings too. AIO? He is usually so sensitive I just think his biases are at work here.
  • A representation of a bride-to-be standing sideways in a wedding dress shop, smiling as she tries on a dress and veil
  • FirefighterSome4083 NOR. while I understand he'll use the PC regularly and long term, making a purchase of that amount while in the middle of wedding budgeting and planning, and after having convinced you to spend
  • less of your own money you saved on an item that is important to you (regardless of his personal opinion on it) is wildly hypocritical.
  • Successful Moment_91 It doesn't sound like you're compatible. Fighting over finances is a huge issue in a relationship It seems like he feels that he can police your spending while he does what he pleases
  • I hope he isn't gaming when he should be present in the relationship and is doing his share of the chores
  • Otherwise-Log1671 It all boils down to: He wants to police your money, but has no intentions of letting you police his.
  • FiberlsLife Get the dress you want when you marry Not This Guy. This is not a relationship you want to stay in.
  • fly1away He has given you a $7000 gift of insight as to who he is. Use this gift wisely.
  • wildcampion This is your early warning of what your married life will look like.

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